Thursday, May 13, 2010

Be honest with yourself, you chose that!

The need to be needed can cause some of us to get outside of our true identity. You begin to want more in life, such as friends, money, love, etc. This desire, if not formed in a healthy way will begin to breed greed. Have you been or are you in a place that you don't want to be, but you created that mess yourself? I bet you are wondering how to get out of it, right? The pain of it all has become too hard to bare, the struggles you face because of this decision(s) is depressing you. I think that if I share one of my situations and how I dealt with it, that would help answer some questions, even if it is completely different from your situation.

I was in an abusive relationship(marriage) that was so painful and depressing, but I was stuck! I did not know what to do and when I would vent to my friends or family all I would get from them was, oh girl please ain't no way I would be dealing with that! That statement made me feel worse, he was my husband! Here I am, back up against the wall, noone to turn to, all ALONE. What can I do? I begin to feel hopeless and dumb....but why? I begin to seek out ways to make me feel better (another setup), but in me doing that, I opened up the portal to HELL! I left the abusive relationship(marriage), only to get involved with a married man(somebody else's husband). Who does that? ME! I did! Just thinking about it makes me sick, but anywho, let me continue. So, I began to LIE to myself about the situation....girl you married too, and you see how things can get, maybe he needs you like you need him. Lies, lies, lies, and more lies! I tell you, I was in too deep! I'm talking about, I was his woman...okay! We went out, he bought me nice things, he treated me so special, he was soooo attentive, he spent time with me, he just made me feel like a woman......LIES! Realistically, it was not all that, and I'm still trying to figure out what desperate place I was in, anyways when I find that answer I will blog about it..LOL! The truth of the matter was, I was being selfish, and the saying is true, "hurt people, hurt people!". I was hurting, so I didn't care about anybody else, not even the married man....please! All I was thinking was men ain't no good anyway, so what if he's married, she know what kind of man she got. Just UGLY, a hot mess! Then one day I SNAPPED, not in a violent way, but I had an epiphany. After the guilt begin to set in and I really couldn't justify what I was doing anymore, because I knew I was wrong. God dealt with me......still dealing with me! I didn't want to be in that place anymore, but had I fallen in love? With a married man? Come on, you have got to be kidding me! Oh like I said I was in too deep, but PRAYER from the heart will change things INSTANTLY! I battled with it for a minute because at first I didn't want to let go, but when I made the decision, when I begin to LOVE ME again, when I told the TRUTH, oh it was peace instantaneously! I shared this tidbit (book coming soon) of my life to say that nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. You are not in that mess alone! You just have to be honest about your situation with God, quit talking to everybody else because they have issues too! They can't tell you the truth, because they need to take their mess to God too! Surround yourself with spiritually mature people who will have a WORD for you and that situation.....then one day you can do exactly what I'm doing.....Being Honest with Yourself!


  1. Thanks for being so honest...I don't know if I would have been brave enough to share my business like that! Much respect though....I can say that this is real and it let's me know that I don't have to pretend that everything with me is all good cause it ain't. I will be checkin your posts and commenting(honestly) where I see fit. I do have a few questions....Did the wife find out or did you tell her? Did your husband find out or did you tell him? What happened?

  2. Lol!!! Yes I did put my business out there, didn't I? Well, I can do this now because I've gotten over what people say and think about me. I realized that regardless if you're doing good or bad someone will always have something negative to say about you, so I just live "MsDior's" life. I don't know how to do anybody else's but my own! Now to your questions...I am going to give more details as to what happened, but for now I will say this...oh no I didn't tell his wife, I just cut it off with him, and as far as I know she didn't find out. I did tell my husband, which was easy for me, but only because I wasn't with him at the time. If I was going to be honest with myself, I definately had to be honest with the people in my life. I will give more details later.....Thanks, you posted the first comment/questions....I so needed that!!!

  3. WOW!!! I love this article it is right on time!! I been going thru some inner issues and this is EXACTLY what I needed!!! Thanks!!